(And the sky is winning) Last week I was cooking up a batch of premium headline ideas for my column, mostly regarding trending topics in the news, such as the Chinese balloons or the British transphobe. I sat by a window, a sunbeam bouncing from my eyes to the cell…

Poking fun at the goofiest headlines to cross my newsfeed. Sustained subscribers of my comedy column here on Medium have gotten used to seeing me joke about politics, pop culture, and all things current and eventful. In case you’ve missed it, I’ve been running a series of jokes about the…

What gives!?!? I was stuffing cheaply made mass produced Christmas decorations into my oversized jacket in the back aisle of a crowded Walmart the other week when I overheard a gaggle of soccer moms commiserating in regard to a supposed epidemic of drug-laced Halloween candy. “You can’t be too safe”…

Wherein the news is lampoon-sed. Sustained subscribers of my salacious scribblings may be privy to my hankering for haranguing the headlines, much in the style of a late-night monologue or unearthed madman’s manifesto. In case you’ve missed it, I’ve been running a series of jokes about the weirdest, wildest, and…

Aquarius may surprise you! As worldwide climate change and human greed continue to wreak havoc upon our only inhabitable planet, we find ourselves drifting ever nearer to a salty hellscape amongst the floating trash barges of our own creation. …

Turns out, you can just put words in any order you want. Boy oh boy, nobody told me the collapse of society would be so fatuous and also so boring. These past few years have truly felt like a Sci-Fi original film called “The World Slowly Crumbles-Nato.” Given the absolutely…